The Holy of Holies

I was there today. Wrapped in the very presence of God himself.

Don't get me wrong. I've been in the presence of the Holy Spirit before. There have been times when I got "God bumps" listening to a story/watching a movie, etc. I have been urged from deep within about issues that needed taken care of. God has spoken to me in the past....mostly through song or His written word.

But today...today was different.

Forgive me for not being graceful or smooth in the way I'm explaining this. I quite literally can't seem to find the words. But I have to share it with...someone...anyone...everyone.

2/27...February 27th, 2011. This day is a day that will not soon be forgotten. I have been so moved - so very moved - by God himself. I can't ignore it; I can't pretend it didn't happen; I can't let it go.

The sermon was seemingly an ordinary sermon, preached by an ordinary servant of the Gospel. But the heart of a servant used by God shines through and makes what may be ordinary, extraordinary.

Exdous 33 & 34 is where we're at. We're talking about the "tent of meeting" that Moses has set up outside the camp when the Israelites were roaming around the desert. The tent is symbolic for us...a way to relate to this story. The tent is our "meeting place" with God. It must be set apart from our life. It must be in a place without distractions from all the grumbling. It must be a regular meeting spot. It must be done daily.

My "tent" is my jelly-crusted table, my time is during cartoons in the a.m. (because that is when D is caught up and not on my tail end).

But is it daily? Sometimes...in any given week.

But is it daily? (really?) No.

Some other "thoughts" that PT shared:

• One of the reasons we don't go to our "tent" daily is because we have sin in our lives. {Hmph.} And God will bring that to our attention (if we are truly meeting with Him) and ask us to give it up.
• Sometimes we, as Christians, want to be stirred by God, but not changed by Him. (Please! Don't let this be said of me! Change my heart, O God.)
• When God is seemingly silent, we often simply choose to do what we want to do.
• Moses had to set up the tent outside the camp b/c God was disappointed in his people, and their fickle ways (my words, not PTs).
• When Moses met with God, the people noticed, and it did have an impact on them (whether Moses knew it or not).
• God will speak. He will respond. It may not be the answer we want, but it will be an answer nonetheless. Are we listening with all our hearts when we seek him?

What would happen...

• if I stopped being distracted by the world and meet with God daily?
• if I stopped letting petty things keep me from trying to see God's face?
• if I stopped listening to the grumbling (or being the grumbling)?
• if I stopped worry about what everyone else (except Abba Father) thinks?
• if I went to the meeting place and stayed until I heard what God has to say?
• if I stopped asking and talking and just listened?
• if I let God talk to my fears instead of me telling Him what they are?
• if I stop telling God what I need/want and start doing what he wants?

This morning will forever be etched in my mind. I don't want to let it go. I didn't want to leave the sanctuary this morning, for fear of losing the "moment." And yet, 10ish hours later, I still feel a cloak of it around me. I can't get enough of this Exodus story. I can't stop thinking about what I need to do differently. I can't let go of some things that I really don't want to hold on to.

I am thankful that it doesn't take anything fancy, like a church sanctuary, to meet with God. I can do it wherever I am, whenever I want/need. God is not limited by space. He met with Moses on mountaintops, in tents, through fired up bushes, etc.

And I worship that same God today...the God of Moses.

My God loves me too much to let me stay the same. So, here I am, a broken girl with scattered dreams, thankful for this experience and wondering where the road will take me now. Because life will never be the same.

This Holy of Holies - where I am today - doesn't have to fade...for it has stirred this heart and changed it for good.