Sunday, February 4, 2018

Book Thoughts: Confessions of an Adoptive Parent

Guys. I am so honored to be writing this post. I was selected to be a part of the book launch team of a new book for adoptive parents. As an adoptee who is now an adoptive parent, I have an interesting perspective to bring to the table.


As a long time fan of the author's blog, I couldn't wait to get my hands on this book. They have such a beautiful family pieced together by adoption through domestic and foster care. They have also fostered numerous children to reunification. They live in the trenches of trauma.

As an adoptive parent, few resources are out there (especially written by other adoptive parents) that are specifically for us. This book is a quick read because it feels as if you are having a cup of proverbial coffee and sharing life with a dear friend who also experiences life as an adoptive parent.

There were several resounding messages in this book.



Hope. Such a small word with an impressive impact on our life...IF we hold on to it. It's easy enough to lose hope in the midst of caring for any children and the constant force of resistance we face when confronting life's challengers. Foster and adoptive parents face these challenges, as well as a slew of other challenges unbeknownst to those outside of our circle. On our journey of foster care and adoption, I have come dangerously close to losing hope several times. Hope is strung through every chapter of the book. Berry points us back to the place where we know, without a shadow of doubt, that hope never quits. And especially that you can find hope in the most unlikely of places.


Community. Though I believe this wholeheartedly, I haven't really taken full advantage of community until the last few years. There is power when burdens are shared and other like-minded, non-judgemental people can help you bear them. I have seen it time and time again. Berry gives lots of tips for how to immerse yourself in a community. Do's and don'ts that are pretty helpful (that I wish I would have thought through before sharing our story with some). The truth is, our realities are too harsh for some people in our lives. We can't share it all with everyone, nor should we. However, there is great power in the "Me, too" from another one who has stood or is standing in similar circumstances. I am so grateful for my people.


One of my favorite chapters of the book is in the telling of the stories of some children (his and others he knows closely). It was especially good for this momma's heart, as our family has dealt with similar situations. The hope that was thread throughout their stories, even in the most hopeless of situations, was a light for this weary momma. You see, only those closest to us know that each of our three kids have deep-seeded issues and they come out in completely different ways. My husband and I often feel like failures and wonder how we will ever meet all of their needs...how we will ever be on the other side of this. We don't know the end of their stories, and while I sometimes wonder, these stories reminded me of this truth: their stories aren't over. And a reminder to not base my children's future on their current behavior. {All.The.Praise.Hands,Y'all!} This is a truth I can hold on to.


My other favorite theme running throughout the book is a reminder to find beauty right where you are. Sure, this journey is unpredictable. Sure, it's hard. Sure, we don't know how the story ends, but today there is beauty. It's woven through the trenches and laughter and sadness and pain. I love how the author (Berry) keeps bringing us back to hope. If we can hold on to hope tighter, maybe we could be quicker to notice the beauty.

In the midst of the struggles that can come with adoption and foster care, this book is our very own form of "Me, too." Berry reminds us that hope can be found in the wreckage, in the beautiful, in the silence, in friendships, in "me, too"s, and in the past, present, and future. Hope can be our anchor. And must be, really. Hope must be our anchor.

I can't recommend this book enough. If you're an adoptive or foster parent, get it! I promise you will be encouraged and inspired. If you love an adoptive or foster parent, get it for them. I promise they will be encouraged and inspired.

To watch the video book trailer, click here.

To preorder the book, click here. There are tons of goodies if you pre-order, including a video series, and several other freebies. You should totally do that! Get it at your favorite book retailer or mine (Amazon)!