Enough

Ever feel like you're just...under attack? Maybe you have this big huge project to strive for...work for...plan for...and even execute. But your sights are unable to set on this said project because it appears/feels/seems like "life" is swirling all around you. It's confusing. It's sad. It's unsteady. It's hard. It's messy. And most of all, it's unknown.

This is where I am tonight. VBS is just ahead (a huge project that I love and am passionate about...also part of my job description, as far as I know). It starts a mere few days away. And this week, I've been plugging away at all the tasks at hand (though there are still a million to do). But my focus...it's not there.

My focus is on me. Health issues, concerns, problems, pain, issues, and about 300 unanswered questions.

Yet tonight...I was able to stand on Holy Ground...A random series of events led our church to have an "impromptu" worship gathering tonight...a hundred or so of my family gathered in the presence of Jesus and sang praises. There's something about the corporate worship setting that gives me clarity like nothing else. Maybe it's my music roots...the effect of music on my soul...but clarity was found tonight.

The first song sung was "Blessed Be Your Name." A beautiful, slow, acoustic version. And to be honest, it's not one of my favorite songs. I mean...I love it. I love how scripture is just straight up sung in the song. I guess I just mean that it's not necessarily one of my "go to" worship songs right now.

And then this part came: "Blessed be your name when the road's marked with suffering, though there's pain in the offering, blessed be your name." And I had to stop singing. Did I mean it? Do I really want to bless His name when I don't know what He's doing...when I don't know what the future holds? When I don't know if my hopes and dreams are about to be shattered around me?

And then this part came: "Every blessing you pour out, I'll turn back to praise. When the darkness closes in, Lord, still I will say, "Blessed be the name of the Lord..." And my heart cried, "YES! I will bless your name. Because the one thing I know...is that You are good. Your plans for me are good." And I will...with tears filling my eyes...praise.YOUR.name.

And the follow up song? "Your Grace is Enough."

The lyrics that hit home: "Your grace is enough," "You use the weak to lead the strong," and then more of the "Your grace is enough" over and over.

I don't know what's going on. I don't understand the timing. I don't want to be devastated. But you know what? Sometimes this is just how it is.

Jesus, you are enough. Your grace is enough.

I open my hands, I give you all that's swirling around me.

And I will bless your name through it all...

"I don't know what You're doing, but I know who You are." {See below video for a great song by JJ Heller with these lyrics.}