Been a While...

Sure has been a while.

I miss blogging. I miss writing. I miss crafting.

I have GOT to get back into the things that bring me joy.

I'm going on my first vacation since I got this job. Missed a couple Sundays, worked a lot from home, but never {ever} made myself {as} unavailable {as a Children's Director can be}.

I have many things planned for my time off. Mostly cleaning (my house is just...filthy in the crevices). Hoping for some thrifting & crafting. Have a few fun things planned with the munchkins and have a few friend moments worked in so far. Not to mention the ever-popular Williamson camping extravaganza @ the end of the week!

Here goes nothin'...one more work day before the big week! Maybe I'll start blogging again...

The Hard Questions

As an adoptee, I have a billion questions. Some are deep, some...not so much. Some are important; others are not. But they're still there until they get answered. I love that as an adoptive momma, I know the questions my kids are going to have.

But hear me...as much as I love this, I also dread it. Because I know the hard things they're going to think, believe, go through. And to make matters worse, we know details about certain happenings in Big D's life pre-foster care...and to know it is hard, but to share it with him (eventually, when it's age appropriate and if he cares) will be harder still.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm really cut out for this.

Like recently. Big D's been obsessed with "kidnapping." He's had bad dreams. He's had dreams that his sister was kidnapped. I'm thankful he can talk about these things, but scared to death of where he comes up with it. We don't allow violent/scary anything in our home/tv/video games, etc. He just can't handle it. He can't even watch Scooby Doo anymore b/c he has bad dreams about monsters and ghosts. We don't know the actual evil he's encountered in the 4 years before us, and he just can't handle it. Some kids can. My kid can't.

{And before I get on a soapbox about it...isn't it a blessing that we don't have to raise our children the way "society" thinks we should? Seriously. Why would we put bad images in our children's mind before they're ready for them?}

Back to the kidnapping. For weeks, he's been randomly questioning the Mr & I...usually when we're alone with him, and when it's down time. We have been racking our brains...really puzzled as to where this came from. Who has he been with? What kinds of things were talked about? What images has he seen/heard/played/talked about when I wasn't around?

We have talked about it, prayed about it, and we can't figure it out.

Today, as he asked me a new question...the worst one so far...I realized it was from me. It was me, in my paranoia....which is a story for another day. In short, as I stood up for our rights as a family {not realizing he was even listening}, I relayed some of my fears. One of my biggest fears is my children being kidnapped by birth parents. {It makes me want to move to the North Pole or Australia...as far away as possible.}

But he heard me. And now my biggest fear has been transferred to my son.


As I hid my tears from him today, I realized...this is just the beginning of the hard questions. 

Days like today...

I've had a couple rough weeks. And by rough, I mean...really r o u g h. I'm going to spare you the details, but it seems no matter which way I turn, it's not finished or working. Or plans fall through (a g a i n). Or all my planning is null & void because of this reason or that. Or the kids are just...not cooperating with the busyness I find myself in (what kid would?).

But today...it tops the cake. Really.

My first draft of this blog was just...complaint after complaint of all the stinky belongings of this day. But after thought and prayer, I deleted it. Cuz who wants to read someone's blog where they just complain? {Not I, so why would you?}

The good news: both kids are in bed. It's 8:33 p.m. Mister is at a concert in town. I have the (hot) house all to myself, and I'm REFUSING to do housework.

So I'm going to go find myself the best Book known to man and settle in for a bit. There's no other place I'd rather be.

And to be clear - I'm so thankful that there aren't more days like today in life...

And to help us all, a little reminder...

Building 429 - Where I Belong (Official Music Video) from building-429 on GodTube.

My Cup Runneth Over...

I'm not going to lie to you. 2012 has not been kind to my family (as I had hoped). We've been in what we Christians like to call "a valley."

I didn't talk about it much, mostly because it makes people uncomfortable. And the truth is, we're all going through rough times {at least that's what I gather in adult life}. There's always something to dive into prayer about.

For now, though, as huge prayers have been answered, I'd like to just be thankful.

• Thank you, God, for loving me {Jeremiah 31:3}
• Thank you, God, for being my refuge {Psalm 119:114}
• Thank you for a husband who takes the job of "Daddy" seriously.
• Thank you that my kids adore each other.
• Thank you that Baby R cries for me sometimes.
• Thank you that Big D misses me when I'm gone.
• Thank you for this adorable little abode I get to preside in.
• Thank you for our church family, who loves the Keathleys more than we deserve. Thank you for providing for us through some of the saints that go to DFCotN.
• Thanks for Mr's new job! You not only answered prayers, but you gave me specific things I asked for {no nights & weekends, no retail}! You are good! {Psalm 119:68}
• Thank you for the memories we have made while Mr was off work. Thank you for special moments and for how close we have become. Thank you for teaching us to rely on You above all else.
• Thank you for sweet Baby R's giggle.

• Thank you for teaching us what NOT to do when someone we love loses their job. And thank you for teaching us compassion through humbling experiences that we never dreamed we'd need/use.
• Thank you for moving my parents closer. {I can't say this enough.}
• Thank you for all the sweet moments we've had with Mr's parents. We love them dearly, and both kids light up when they see Memaw & Papaw!
• Thank you for Big D's smile & super-hugs every day. I literally don't know what I would do without them.

• Thanks for a "job" where I get to love on kiddos and teach them about the Bible!
• Thanks for strawberries, Watermelon, and corn on the cob. Summertime food favorites! <3

My Mr lost his job in February. It's been rough {and that might be an understatement}. I realize that everything is not going to be better simply because there's a job on the horizon, but I am hopeful that life will slowly turn and become a little more "normal" {If there's such a thing...at all}.

Thank you to all of you who have prayed for us during these trials. Thank you for supporting, encouraging, and lifting us up.

My cup runneth over...

{I will leave you with this song...one of my faves.}

To my baby(s) daddy...

Sweet Mister...
When we were dating, your fondness of kids was a little disheartening. Being a born & bred kid~lover, I wasn't sure what to do with you...
And then 9 month old Isaiah forever changed your view. And for that, I am grateful. When I saw you bonding with him, I knew (without a shadow of doubt) that you were going to be a good dad.
But I was wrong.
You are not just a good dad. You are a great one. Really. The best. It seems you understand exactly what our kids need at any given moment. You don't just "get by" with them. You know them...really know them.
I don't think Baby R loves anyone like she loves you. And anyone that knows Big D will tell you he thinks YOU hung the moon...Not to mention their mother...she falls a little more in love with you every time you interact with them...<3
To not only be open to adoption, but to jump in with both feet (and 100% of your heart)...it's literally more than I could ever have dreamed or imagined.
Thank you, God, for my baby(s) daddy. Thank you for the passion for them you have given him. Thank you for letting him be mine. Thank you for the way he adores our children. And thank you, that each Father's Day (and each day in between), we get to celebrate him as ours!

The last time...

Have you read this book?

It's a book for mommas disguised as a kid's book.

Anyway, bring your tissues if you ever plan to read it, but just know that. It's quite thought provoking while it's at it, too.

I know I've already missed several "lasts," but I sure am more conscious of it now...or at least I try to be. Last night, after several days in a row of Baby R not wanting to snuggle with her last bottle of the day, I lost it. {poor Mr} I lost it good.

I cried. I whined. I stomped my foot. I was unreasonable. I ended up hyperventilating and almost collapsing. All because Baby R was maybe growing out of the snuggle phase and I couldn't remember the last time...

So this, my friends, is a gift.

And I cherished every single second of it...For if this was the last snuggle {God forbid}, this momma will have each breath felt, each love whispered, and each song hummed etched forevermore...

Things I Learned Today...

I love when I get a chance to think about what's going on around me. Too often, I am just checking off items on my ever-present "list." Here are the things I have learned today...

1) "Easy Install" never means "easy install." Literally. My husband has done a fabulous job putting in our new screen door, but I must say (and I'm sure he would agree) it hasn't been easy. {Then again, "things" in life that are really worth something never really are easy, are they?} But it looks fantastic, and I just knew he could do it! He did a great job, and we saved mucho moola by putting it up himself! {pics to come}

2) Planting flowers/de-weeding is {gasp} fun for me! We did no landscaping last summer, so I can't really remember much about the 2 summers before, but I certainly don't remember enjoying it. 2 hours has left me tired, dirty, smelly, sweaty, and energized. Hoping to start "making time" for this type of work in the future b/c I sure do enjoy it. {Little D, not so much...} Pictures to come....

3) You can't MAKE  dog want to be outside. Yup, the pup is getting quite lazy in his old age. His 4 years have been rough on him, but we put him out with us, and he immediately wanted to come in! What about quality family time?! I really thought he'd wanna be out there with us. Oh well...

(Seriously....this is what my dog does 90% of the time...)

4) Sometimes playing with Wikistiks is just the WAY to go. We needed to cool off from outside and found ourselves doing this. I must show off our incredible talent! Dman is so proud of his window {which is also an elephant}, and who doesn't love a pretty flower now & again?

Anyway - be blessed. I know it's the most RANDOM post ever.